toddler frustration Archives

My third child is almost 2 years old and he has already started the “terrible two’s” stage. For the past couple weeks (since school started) he has been out of control. It may have something to do with the fact that he has lost his playmates during the day because my 2 older children are now in school full time. But even when they are home, he still acts pretty bad. He gets into EVERYTHING.

Over the past 2 days, he has done the following:

Dumped baby powder all over the baby’s back and the floor. And I don’t just mean a little sprinkle. I mean everything was white – carpet, table, and baby.

Climbed on top of the toilet and got my hair oil stuff off the top of the shelf. He took the bottle into my bedroom and unscrewed the top. He then proceeded to dump the entire bottle of oil onto the carpet.

And the worst one happened this morning… he went into my purse and took out a bottle of Kanka. I use this for canker sores that I get in my mouth on occasion. He unscrewed that bottle and dumped it out on the floor, onto his shoes, and on the baby’s head! Oh my goodness! I freaked! Kanka is a thick, sticky substance that cannot be cleaned with water. I had to throw away his shoes, his clothes that he was wearing, and my pants. Oh, and get this… he did this 5 minutes before we had to be out the door to get my son to the bus. I did a quick sponge wash on the carpet, changed his clothes and wound up leaving the stuff on the baby’s head until I got home from dropping the kids off. You are probably wondering why I would leave it like that, but I actually did not REALIZE that it was even on the baby until we were driving in the car.

So, those are just a FEW things that I have been dealing with. I’ll tell ya, my 2 older ones did not have much of a terrible 2 stage, so this was not expected at all.

Oh, and I forgot to mention how my son has been obsessed with taking ALL of his clothes off, including the diaper. And did I mention that he likes to do this when he has a poopy diaper??? Yeah, you can imagine what that has been like. LOL

Well, you all know me and the fact that I like to google everything, so I decided to Google “How to Deal with the Terrible Twos”. And wow, I found lots of great info! Here are some things we can do as parents to help them go through this normal stage in their lives.

Assist with Speach Development – At this age children are beginning to develop their speech and the way they communicate. My son is a little delayed in this area, so I can see WHY he may be a bit tougher on communicating what he wants. He gets frustrated and in turn acts out on that frustration.

Give Choices – Toddlers like power and authority just like any adult does. But forcing your will on a child is not always the best choice, especially in the smaller areas. Children need the opportunity to make decisions about things. For instance, I have been asking my son what he wants to eat for lunch. I give him a couple options and let him choose. I have also been doing this with videos and letting him choose what he wants to watch. This helps them develop their skills instead of making all the decisions for them.

Praise – Praising a child when they do good is a great thing. I was actually watching 19 Kids and Counting the other day and the mom said something that really had an impact on me. She said that we should praise out children 10 times more each day than we punish them. Praise doesn’t always come easy either. I often have to LOOK for things to praise my children about. But praising a toddler gives them positive attention as opposed to the negative attention that they get when they do something bad.

Plan Ahead – Terrible two episodes often happen in public places, so it is important to be prepared when going out anywhere. I have a big bag of “emergency toys” that I keep in the car. I also never leave the house without juice and snacks and a change of clothes for each child (just in case).

Sleep – make sure your child is getting enough sleep (nighttime and naptime). It is said that toddlers need 13 hours of sleep within a 24 hour period. A lack of sleep can cause irritability.

Stick to a Routine – This is me all the way. I have a pretty strict schedule when it comes to daily activity. And now that school has started, we are finally getting adjusted to a NEW schedule. I make sure mealtimes, naptime, tv time, playtime, and bedtime are pretty much at the same time each day. Weekends are an exception because of church and other activities.

Stay Organized – Have you ever watched that show “Hoarding”? The people live in complete chaos. And I have watched the stories of the children that have been affected by hoarding and it is really horrible. That is definitely an extreme, but there are some people who are just NOT organized. But it is very important that you keep your living space in order because disorder can have a negative affect on a child for obvious reasons. If they are already out of control, then they could very well become MORE out of control.

Those are all excellent points and I do follow all of them, but I STILL have a child who is turning two and is acting pretty terrible. So, what can I do when these things happen?

Childproof the House Better – There are still some things I can do to keep things out of reach of my curious son. I am going to re-evaluate this and see what else I can do.

Be patient & Stay Calm – There are times when I am able to do that more so than others. This morning I was NOT patient, I can tell you that much.

Get Some Eyes Behind My Head – Well, since that is not exactly possible, I think I may need to watch my son a little better from here on out. I really only turned my back for a minute, but anything can happen in a minute. So I will work on this.

Love Love Love my Toddler – who can resist this face?

And how about you guys? Do you have any tips or pointers that might help this exhausted mom deal with her Terrible (and Oh-So-Lovable) Two Year old? Please comment!

sad-toddler-boy-600

I think all of my children have gone through the stage of banging their heads when they get upset, angry, or frustrated. I have always wondered why they would want to inflict pain on themselves like that.

My 1 yr old son has been banging his head A LOT lately and it is really getting to me. He will bang his head on the floor (carpet or tile – it doesn’t matter). He bangs his head on furniture and on walls. He even bangs his head on ME. Sometimes he will bang it softly and it doesn’t necessarily hurt him, but sometimes he will bang his head really hard until he makes himself cry. I have even seen marks on his forehead from the banging.

________________________________________________

I did some research about toddlers banging their heads and why they do it and it pretty much confirmed what I thought.

According to BabyCenter.com, they list out several possibilities:

• Self-comfort. This one seems a little weird to me. I have heard of thumb sucking, rocking, and hair pulling for self comfort, but not head banging. They say that toddlers sometimes bang their heads to relax. They bang their heads rhythmically as they’re falling asleep, when they wake up in the middle of the night, or even while they’re sleeping. Developmental experts believe that the rhythmic motion, like rocking in a chair, may help toddlers sooth themselves.

• Pain relief. This one makes sense to me. I have felt like banging my own head when I am in pain with a migraine or a toothache. Your toddler may also bang their head if they are in pain — from teething or an ear infection, for example. Head banging seems to help kids feel better, perhaps by distracting them from their discomfort.

• Frustration. This is the one that I see in my 1 yr old. They say, if your toddler bangs their head during temper tantrums, that they probably are trying to vent some strong emotions. They haven’t yet learned to express their feelings adequately through words, so they are using physical actions. They can also be comforting themselves from being frustrated.

• A need for attention. I do see this sometimes in my toddler. Ongoing head banging can be a way for your toddler to get attention. Understandably, as parents, we can get upset seeing our child banging their head. And since he likes it when you fuss over his behavior, he may continue the head banging in order to get the attention he wants.

• A developmental problem. Head banging can be associated with developmental disorders such as autism. It can be one of many behavioral red flags. Rarely does head banging alone signal a serious problem.

___________________________________________

I have to say I feel much better reading this list of possible reasons my toddler would be banging his head. I know that this phase will not last. Once he is able to express himself better through words, I think that the head banging will decrease and eventually stop altogether. Right now, my 1 yr old son doesn’t talk, so he is just using the physical action of banging his head to get the emotion and frustration out.

I think it is probably best to not pay too much attention too it, because it can become a need for attention. I have seen the head banging increase since I started saying to my son “No, don’t bang your head..”. I am going to work on ignoring it just like I ignore my older children’s pouting.

So, if you are struggling with having a child who bangs their head for self comfort, pain relief, frustration, or the need for attention – don’t fear – this too shall pass. In a few years you will look back and laugh about it. And if your child is showing signs of developmental issues, then share your concerns with your pediatrician and they will point you in the right direction for further help.

How about you? Have you ever dealt with a child who bangs their head? What did you do?