I was definitely more overprotective when I had my first baby. I would call the doctor for every sniffle. I would wash the pacifier when it fell on the floor. I would check on him at night to see if he was still breathing. I am sure these are just natural first child mothering instincts. But once you have more than one child you definitely loosen up and don’t pay as much attention to dirt and runny noses.
Right now, I have the wonderful privilege of only having to deal with my 2 younger children. My mom has my 4 & 5 yr olds staying with her at her house for an entire week. I have been keeping in touch with them by phone. This is actually my first time that I have been away from them for this long without being on vacation.
My mom has been doing lots of fun things with them. She has been taking them to church, family & friends houses, and even doctor appointments. I have to be honest with you though, I was a bit leary about my mom taking them out at night. Here at home, we hardly ever go out at night. I usually have them in bed by 7:30pm. So taking them to church at that time made me nervous.
My mom told me to not worry about it that they were fine and that she used to take me and my brother to church at night and we were fine. I guess I just have a hard time letting go of control. Right now I am not in control at all and it can be tough. But I am 2 hours away and I really don’t need to be controlling things when my mom is perfectly capable of taking good care of my children.
My mom mentioned to me that she would be taking them to one of her doctors appointments and that they have a play room for the kids there that she can leave them in while being seen. I expressed my concern that they would be left alone and my mom told me not to worry that she would keep an eye on them and that the reception ladies would also watch out. Am I being overprotective worrying about this?
I have expressed my concern about my kids several times over the past week that they have been with my mom. She always tells me not to worry. And I know that she is right. I trust her more than I would trust anyone else with my children. She is a lot like me and I know that she would care for them the same way that I would. I really do love that about her.
So, it comes down to the fact that I am not in control right now. I have had to let go of that mothering control and it really can be hard for someone like me. But my mom told me that there comes a point where we have to let our children go. If we hold on too tightly, this can cause problems in the future. She is right. When you try to control someone too much, even a child – the child will have the tendency to pull away and fight you more. I think there has to be boundaries when it comes to control. Yes, there are times to be protective of your children. But there are also times when you need to let them go and allow them to learn and grow without you constantly there breathing down their neck.
Do you have issues with control? Are you overprotective with you children? I would love to hear your feedback on this subject.