I was definitely more overprotective when I had my first baby. I would call the doctor for every sniffle. I would wash the pacifier when it fell on the floor. I would check on him at night to see if he was still breathing. I am sure these are just natural first child mothering instincts. But once you have more than one child you definitely loosen up and don’t pay as much attention to dirt and runny noses.
Right now, I have the wonderful privilege of only having to deal with my 2 younger children. My mom has my 4 & 5 yr olds staying with her at her house for an entire week. I have been keeping in touch with them by phone. This is actually my first time that I have been away from them for this long without being on vacation.
My mom has been doing lots of fun things with them. She has been taking them to church, family & friends houses, and even doctor appointments. I have to be honest with you though, I was a bit leary about my mom taking them out at night. Here at home, we hardly ever go out at night. I usually have them in bed by 7:30pm. So taking them to church at that time made me nervous.
My mom told me to not worry about it that they were fine and that she used to take me and my brother to church at night and we were fine. I guess I just have a hard time letting go of control. Right now I am not in control at all and it can be tough. But I am 2 hours away and I really don’t need to be controlling things when my mom is perfectly capable of taking good care of my children.
My mom mentioned to me that she would be taking them to one of her doctors appointments and that they have a play room for the kids there that she can leave them in while being seen. I expressed my concern that they would be left alone and my mom told me not to worry that she would keep an eye on them and that the reception ladies would also watch out. Am I being overprotective worrying about this?
I have expressed my concern about my kids several times over the past week that they have been with my mom. She always tells me not to worry. And I know that she is right. I trust her more than I would trust anyone else with my children. She is a lot like me and I know that she would care for them the same way that I would. I really do love that about her.
So, it comes down to the fact that I am not in control right now. I have had to let go of that mothering control and it really can be hard for someone like me. But my mom told me that there comes a point where we have to let our children go. If we hold on too tightly, this can cause problems in the future. She is right. When you try to control someone too much, even a child – the child will have the tendency to pull away and fight you more. I think there has to be boundaries when it comes to control. Yes, there are times to be protective of your children. But there are also times when you need to let them go and allow them to learn and grow without you constantly there breathing down their neck.
Do you have issues with control? Are you overprotective with you children? I would love to hear your feedback on this subject.
About the author
Dawn is the author of PainterMommy.com. She is also the mother of 4 small children (ages 6,4,2, and 6 months). She runs 3 small businesses: Surfaces with Paint, DPK Graphic Design, DPK Virtual Assistant Services. She enjoys spending time with her children as well as writing, reading, and exploring the internet. If you would like to contact Dawn, please feel free to send her an email at Dawn@PainterMommy.com.
We’ll if it makes you feel any better, i’d have your same concerns. I find that grandparents are way more relaxed then parents, maybe we mellow with age. No matter how great your mom is, she doesn’t do things the way that you do them, but, as long as they are safe, then we do have to find a way to relenquish the “control everything” factor.
The kids probably realize this is the way grandma does things and not the way mom does things as we do have to have more control over things because we’re with them more often.
Now in saying all of this, i’d still voice your concerns to her. You are after all the parent, and you do have the right to “guide” how you’d like your children to be looked after.
Best of luck!
Erin
Erin´s last blog ..My appologies to the Emo and/or Cutter World
[Reply]
I agree with Mom. If one smothers ones kids and tries to protect them from everything, they grow up to be wimps, and unable to cope with issues themselves. besides, one CAN’T protect them from everything, and if one tries, they are so ‘weak’ from letting you do all the ‘protecting’ and making life easy for them, that they do not know how to cope with adversity as well as some kids who have had a few hard knocks. ‘Sides, you’ll drive yourself crazy trying – like shoveling against the tide.
Chris Kemp´s last blog ..Home
[Reply]
I am very laid back. I was way over protective of my oldest child but now I am pretty laid back and have let go a lot. I still watch to make sure all three are breathing when they are sleeping though, and my oldest is 7! LOL
Other than that maybe having my oldest visit her father every other weekend has allowed me to let go easier since she is not always home with me. IDK. Great article!
Brandy´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: My 2 Favorite Boys
[Reply]
Hi Dawn!
*deep breaths, deep, deep breaths*
I’m somewhere in between… I try to let go… but it’s hard. My mom is pretty laid back almost tooo laid back so this is where my mama instincts start kicking in and I want to be in control. At the end of the day, it’s usually harmless but sometimes I do have to put my foot down! LOL!
Leslie @La Mama Naturale´s last blog ..Be Frugal: Give the kid a haircut. Go on!
[Reply]
I hear ya sister on that. “Deep Breaths….deep breaths…”
[Reply]
Being overprotective is always annoying children.So you’d better not be such although it’s normal for all parents form my point of view.
[Reply]