My 1 yr old son is a very rough little boy. He started walking at 12 months, much earlier than my other children who didn’t walk until they were around 15 months old. My little “butter ball” (as we call him) is not only walking at 14 months, but running around like a mad man. He is adorable, but there is one thing that can be quite annoying about him – HE SCREAMS.
He doesn’t throw fits or anything like that, he doesn’t cry and scream. He just has out bursts where he screams when he wants something or when his brother or sister take a toy from him. He screams when he is happy too. I have not had to deal with this before, so I have no clue how to handle it. We have tried to tell him “No Screaming”, but it seems like he is just too young to get it. I mean he can’t talk yet, so maybe it is his way of expressing himself? What do you think?
I could really use some insight on this one. Any of you moms or dads out there have any advice? How can I get my son to STOP the SCREAMING?
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I would probably think he is just trying to express himself. My son is 10 and he is still “loud” when he gets excited or happy and he realizes this himself and he’ll quickly cup his mouth and grin at me. But when he was around 14 months he wined a lot and was a screamer but kind of calmed after he could do more things for himself or let me know what he wanted.
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I agree with Angela. I think he’s just expressing himself, but it’s also a good idea to continue to tell him no screaming, because when he does begin to talk, you don’t want the screaming to continue. I think it will calm down though once he can tell you what he needs or wants. How old were your other kids when they began to talk? My grandson is almost 16 months old and he is really starting to form words now. He says “dink” for drink and down when he wants down, but he also kind of screams when he wants something but can’t say it yet; its more of a frustration noise than a scream, though there are some high pitched squeals in that noise he makes. LOL. Hang in there, I know it’s gotta be tough with a newborn and 3 little ones….oh wait, I DO know it’s tough….I had 4 kids too, and my last ones are only 17 months apart. Oh the joys. But just think, one day they will be grown up and you’ll get to be Nana too
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Dawn,
I am going to have to agree with these other ladies. Continue to lovingly reinforce the “No Screaming” rule in a calm voice and he will eventually begin to put it together. Consistency is key. But I know you already know all that =)
So glad you’re feeling better and that you had a good holiday!
Amanda
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Adding my thoughts as a grandmother, my daughter has one who screamed a lot at that age. He is 4 now and still loud when he is excited but outgrew the screaming. He always did it when he was tired, it seemed to release his stress and he could go to sleep. It’s hard on the ears, but some kids seem to need the release. Perhaps in some cases distracting him at this age could help?
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My son (2 years, 3 months) is also a screamer and has been for a few months now. He’s also speech delayed which is what we have attributed his outbursts to. But we also try to reinforce that he needs to “use a quiet, inside voice” and we also say it in a lower than normal voice. It doesn’t always work, but as some of the other ladies have mentioned, consistent use of the same phrase will likely work over time.
I’m not sure what your living situation is, but we live in an attached townhome at the moment so I worry more about the neighbors than the screaming!
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I am now a grandmother, having successfully raised two children. I really feel for you! You have a future leader for sure, but how to channel that correctly. Even tho he is young he has learned quickly that this screaming gets him what he wants. Have you read Dct Dobsons books on the strong willed child? They were a life saver to me when I was raising my children. I had a son who was strong willed and two at the time I read it. Changed my whole life, and my son has grown up to be what every mom would want .
BTW, saw your tweet!
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It really does sound like he’s trying to express himself and he’s figured out that screaming gets your attention even if it is negative. Now not only is he competing with his older siblings but he’s having to draw your attention from the baby. I would suggest to always be sure and reply in a quiet even tone. Try to distract him or let him know that he has to use his “inside” voice when he wants something. And whenever you can, squeeze in a little extra “Mommy” time for him.
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My son will be five in a few days, and your little guy sounds a lot like him. He gets excited when he plays and screams. Just for fun. He’s done this since he was really little too.
I empathize with you. It can be really annoying, and disrupting. Like when the baby is trying to sleep.
We used about every approach there was from just telling him, “Don’t scream. Use your inside voice,” to putting him in time out for it. Sometimes when he gets really wound up I send him to his room, and tell him to come out when he’s calmed down.
Now he will sometimes catch himself and stop. I know he’s trying, and he really doesn’t mean to disobey. It’s an impulse, and a five year old boy just doesn’t have that much impulse control yet.
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Good thing to try is to gain his focus using a quiet, firm voice and maintain your eye contact whilst trying to get his. Quiet, calm voice definitely works better, try holding both his hands at the same time, telling him to look at you, try to make him laugh instead. My son was loud, and IS loud at 7 but if you’re loud back he gets even louder.
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Ah my 4 yr old is still a screamer and I am hoping my 9 month old does not follow in her footsteps! I think he is just tryng to express himslef and it just happens to be loud! I just try to enforce the indoor voice/outdoor voice rule. Hang in there…it will get better!
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Hi
I read through your post and truly sympathise with you as there is nothing harder on the ears than an ear-piercing shriek. From what I can gather, your son is only 14 months.
At that age, it is possibly better to use as few words as possible.
I agree with Corbey that you need to make sure you get his attention and would suggest that you say his name and a firm “No”. eg.: (I will call him Sam as you have not mentioned his name)
Speak to the rest of your family and pre-arrange that when he screams, everyone else must leave the room and only one person will handle it. Preferably you or your partner. The next time he screams (make sure everyone leaves without saying a word) Face him with a serious look on your face, lower your voice (tone, not volume) and say:
“Sam. No.” (you could even try putting your hands over your ears to show him that he is hurting them.
Stand your ground to make sure he stops and if he doesn’t, then pick him up and just move him to a different place (A high chair or if you have a chair for him put him in it) Usually the fact that you have moved him will make him stop as he has been moved away from whatever caused him to scream. (distraction), If he stops, simply smile and say something like: “Thank you,” or “That is better,” and give him something to play with. (again distraction) Everyone else can then return to the room, but must not make any comments. They should just carry on as if nothing has happened.
Please do not reward him with a sweet or a huge cuddle as ‘not screaming’ is normal behaviour, not an achievement.
If he screams when you are out somewhere, visiting or even at the shops. Remove him immediately to somewhere where it is just you and him and do exactly the same thing: “Sam. No.”
Keep it up and he will quickly learn that the behaviour is unacceptable.
Good luck
Deni
Deni´s last [type] ..Change
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Painter Mommy Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 9:36 am
Twitter: PainterMommy
Thanks so much for the great advice and insight Deni. I appreciate you taking the time to comment!
~Dawn
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Hi Dawn
I just hope my little comments help someone somewhere.
Regards
Deni
Deni´s last [type] ..Change
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Painter Mommy Reply:
June 27th, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Twitter: PainterMommy
They do indeed! God bless ya!
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