That is the #1 question I am asked by almost anyone I run into.

They ask me: “How do you do it with 4 kids and running multiple businesses?” . 

It makes me chuckle sometimes because I don’t always know how I do it.  Yes, I have things that I do to help my life run smoother and stay organized, but I do have my moments when I fall apart and fall to the floor crying because of sheer exhaustion.

I often hear moms of just 1 child complaining about all of their responsibilities and how hard it is living their lives and it makes me laugh.  But then I look back and remember where I was when I had my first child and only had one business and how stressful I felt like it was.   I would’ve never been able to handle THEN what I am handling now.  I really think we grow and learn to deal with MORE as we get older, have more children, and expand in business.

But life is still crazy at times.  I mean just today my 3 yr old son got stuck in the metal bars attached to a folding table and we could not get him out.  He was screaming and screaming until we were able to squeeze his body through because his head was too big to get out the way he went in.  But that was not the only incident of the day so by that time that pretty much threw me over the edge.  Thank God everyone is in bed and I have calmed down a bit so I can write.  LOL

No, I am not the perfect mom.  I do scream.  I do cry.  I do leave the dishes in the sink overnight.  And there are times when I even don’t shower for 3 days straight because there is just not enough time in a day.

But most of the time, I do my best to be a good wife and mom and business owner.  I am not always the best friend that I think I can be though because I hardly have time to be chatty with anyone anymore.  Basically the only quiet time I have is after everyone is in bed and by that time I am just plain worn out and I don’t feel like opening my mouth anymore, let alone talk.

I always say when the kids get older I will have more time.  I wonder if that is true.  Any of you older moms out there?  What do you say to that?  Do small children demand more time or is it the other way around?

—————————————————————————————–

There are many great things that I try to do to have balance and be the best work at home mom that I can be, but a big challenge that I often face is having TIME to be able to do all that I need to.

Here are some points that hopefully will be helpful for you to understand the benefits of truly making the most of your time.  They help me tremendously and it really helps for me to write some of them down.

Make the Most of Your Time

• Schedule & Routine – Having a schedule will help you to get more accomplished in a day.  You can have a daily home routine and a daily work routine.  There are certain things that I do the same everyday like get up at the same time and get the kids ready for school.  But I also do certain things on certain days of the week.  One day I focus on the laundry.  One day I will focus on an area of the house that needs to be cleaned or organized.  One day I will work on something for my business like updating my website or sending a letter to my email list.  There are also certain times that I do things during the day.  I am a HUGE clock watcher.  I KNOW when 12:00pm is approaching because it is NAPTIME (my main client work time) and I make sure my little ones are fed and ready to go down for their nap.  If I am 15 minutes late with that time, it can screw up my day.  And that is the last thing I want to happen.  (But I also want to throw in there that you have to be flexible because life always throws stuff at us that is just plain unexpected and we have to adjust)

• Stay on Top of the Cleaning – As we all know, a perfectly clean and tidy house can get completely destroyed in just a day when you have children around.  And if you miss a day of cleaning up the messes, it can pile up until you need an entire weekend to get it all back to normal again.  I am not a big fan of cleaning, but I know that it is something that needs to be kept up with on a daily basis.  I know I admitted to leaving dirty dishes in the sink on occasion, but I normally like to have everything cleaned up before I go to bed.  It is wonderful to wake up in the morning to a clean house.  That allows me to have a free mind to be able to focus on my priorities for that day.  My daily cleaning consists of putting the kids toys away (they help with that), vacuuming, fluffing couch pillows, cleaning the stove, table and counters.  There are lots more, but those are just the basics.

• Set Boundaries with Work Time – This is something I have always had a hard time with.  Balance is not always easy.  I struggle big time.  I think it is something that I will always have to work on, but I am definitely getting better.  I used to stay up all hours of the night trying to get client work done and I would be a wreck in the morning.  It took almost a year of me doing that to finally realize that I was WAY too stressed out and it was hindering my health, my sleep pattern, and my demeanor as a mom.  I now try to make sure my computer is shut down by no later than 9pm and sometimes I actually shut down earlier.  This has been huge for me.  Also, I not only set boundaries with my work, but I also set boundaries as far as setting aside time for my family.  Weekends are when we get away and go on fun adventures and I am able to get my head away from work for a while.  Nobody messes with our weekends. 

• Plan Ahead – Planning ahead is something that can be so simple and yet so hard to stay disciplined and follow through with.  One example is with meals.  I am the type of person who would rather work than eat.  But that can be a problem when you have multiple children.  They HAVE to eat and it often seems like they never STOP eating.  LOL  Well, one thing that I try to do is prepare meals early so that I am not stuck doing everything last minute.  I thaw things out from the freezer the night before.  And I take a mental note of what I will prepare for that day.   Another way that I make sure I am prepared is by having everything I need whenever I leave the house.   I am known as the person who is super prepared because of how much I take with me.  It almost seems like I am moving out everytime I step out the door.  But you are really better off being more prepared than less, especially with children.  Whenever we go anywhere I make sure there is a toy bag ready for emergency situations in case we have to wait a long period of time somewhere.  And I am always stocked up on snacks and drinks as well.

There are really a lot of different things that we can do as moms to make our lives easier and our time more efficient.  I would love to hear some of your ideas as well.  Us moms have to stick together.  Time flies by and I don’t want to look back and think that I could’ve done things differently or better.   I want to do all that I can NOW and be the best mom that I can be in spite of juggling working from home and everything else in between.

So, please leave a comment.  I always love to hear from you!

All moms struggle to understand and cope with their children’s behavior. In any stage of development, it can be difficult to determine the difference between normal and abnormal behavior. Family expectations, social and cultural environments and the child’s own temperament can all influence a child’s behavior. While there are general signposts that can help guide moms along the way, every child’s development follows an individual path.

Developmental Stages

Every new phase of growth presents its own sets of challenges, for both children and their moms. Many of these challenges are connected with a child’s natural development towards independence. A two-year-old toddler’s tendency to say “no!” at almost every opportunity is not usually a sign of disrespect, negativity or unhappiness, but rather a normal phase in the child’s search for autonomy. The child is communicating a wish to participate in the decisions that affect his or her life. When a child is going through a recognizable, normal phase of development, reacting with firm support is best.

Understanding Temperament

Children display individual temperament early on. Some children have a natural tendency to by shy, adaptable, curious, moody or out-going. Understanding a child’s unique personal characteristics can help a mom anticipate how the child may react in specific situations. Reacting to behaviours according to a child’s individual temperament also assures children that they are accepted for who they are. Sending a message that a child’s natural temperament is unacceptable can damage further development.

Meeting Emotional Needs

Sometimes, unwanted behavior is an indication that a child’s emotional needs are not being met. A child who feels unloved, ignored or neglected can display a number of behaviors to garner attention, behaviors that, if not addressed, are likely to become more destructive as the child gets older. Although it may be challenging to do so, it’s important for parents to ascertain whether unwanted behavior is a result of unmet emotional needs.

Establishing Expectations

When it comes to ensuring that a child will behave appropriately, communication is key. It is unrealistic to bring a child into a new setting and expect them to behave perfectly. Moms should not only tell their children beforehand where they are going and what the children can expect to see and experience there, but should express the kind of behavior they expect them to exhibit while there. Communication is a two-way street. Parents need to ensure that their message has been received by listening carefully to their children as well.

Environmental Influences

Expecting a child left alone in a kitchen filled with sweets not to sample the goods is unreasonable. Sometimes a child’s environment can trigger unwanted behavior. A play room, nursery or child care center that does not have enough toys or games to keep children engaged can lead to squabbles and fights. When children are brought into an adult environment, whether it’s a library, store or city bus, it is helpful to bring along a favorite toy, story book or game to keep them engaged. Lack of sleep or discomfort can cause unwanted behavior as well.

Understanding the types of issues that can impact behavior at various stages of development can help parents prepare and react appropriately. The most helpful guide to moms may be to remember that children frequently model their own behavior after their parents. Moms who see parenting as an opportunity to explore their own growth, too, may enjoy the most success.

This post was written by Nisha Sharma, she represents a site called BabyPlanet.biz.  She loves to write about parenting, children and give advice to moms, feel free to visit her site for more information on nursery furniture.

Now toddlers are playing video games and 10 yr olds are carrying cell phones.  My 7 yr old is obsessed with video games – it is all he talks about.  Him and his dad play together on occasion and yes it is a nice bonding time, but what happened to slowing down and sitting around the kitchen table to play battleship or monopoly?  That winds up being “boring” for kids after playing such intriguing games like they are playing now-a-days. How can you compete with that?

But this is the day and age we are living in and it can be actually be fun finding new games to play on the internet.  There are unlimited options out there for both adults and children.  My children often enjoy playing games on their favorite sites like PBS Kids, Sprout Online, and my son’s newest favorite is Lego Universe (which I wound up playing with him and really enjoyed).  I love the fact that many online games are totally free.  All you need to do is go to the site and play.

And of course there are many paid options that are super fun too.  How about Online Bingo?  You don’t have to go to the big hall with a bunch of old people anymore.  You can enjoy playing Bingo Online and lots of other fun games from the comfort of your home.

So even though this is a new digital era, family games can still be fun and enjoyable whether played online or offline.  Give it a try, but always make time for the good ol’ board games.

As a parent I was very hesitant to bring any videogames into my home. The media is riddled with news, studies, and polls that argue against allowing children to play videogames, especially ones that depict violence in a stylized way.

The underlying current seems to be that videogames retard development in important areas and influence impressionable children in negative ways by introducing them to images, themes, and situations they aren’t prepared to assimilate.

My son is old enough now, though, that when he sees a Wii commercial on TV he knows what it is, and, more importantly (in his opinion), knows that he wants it.

My spouse and I had a discussion about it and we decided, against my initial position, to buy a Wii for the house (my spouse can be very persuasive). We agreed that since we would have control over which games our son played, as long as we were careful about which titles we bought, the Wii could actually be an educational and fun way to spend play time every once and awhile.

(I also realized that there is no way to totally shelter a child from videogames in this day and age. I guess my thinking was something like: If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!)

At any rate, the Wii has been a huge success in our home, and I’m glad we invested in it. I think a mistake a lot of parents make with videogames is thinking that it is a way to keep kids out of their hair and that videogames are something kids can do alone.

If you are thinking about getting a console for your home, let me first assure you that it can be a great way to bond with and help educate your child. But I will also say that videogame time should be a parent-child activity, just as playing outside or arts and crafts should be.

Here are some ways I have found to make video games more interactive (between you and your child, that is), and balanced activity:

1. Questions, Questions, Questions!

Remember the way your child won’t stop pestering you about cooking while you’re cooking? They do this because they are curious about the way the world works, and want answers. When your child is playing a game, ask them questions about it. Asking your child questions about what is happening onscreen, why it is happening, what they expect to happen next, and what happens when they do this or that will contextualize the events of the game and will help develop an understanding of narrative and cause and effect.

Also, when your child meets a goal in the game or completes a level, try to ask questions about what they learned from that level, and ask them to retell what they did in the level. This will help with problem solving and memory skills.

2. Join In.

As great as questions can be, there is no substitute for your engagement with the game your child is playing. Joining in can be a great help in instilling a sense of cooperation and/or competition in your child. Furthermore, playing with your child gives you more opportunities to quiz your child over what is happening, and will give your child the opportunity to suggest solutions to problems. While playing, ask, “What should we do?” in puzzling situations and foster your child’s leadership abilities.

3. Set Limits.

One of the dangers of videogames is that children tend to neglect other kinds of play. While you are playing with your child, let them know how long you will be playing, and what you will be doing afterward. It is crucial to balance your child’s development in other areas by playing sports, making art, and other things, so don’t let videogames monopolize all the play time. If you set limits and incorporate other activities into a day, giving your child a rich, broad spectrum of things to do, videogames will just be one of many things, instead of the only thing your child wants to do.

Speaking from experience, I know why parents can be hesitant to buy a videogame for their children. But, as with most things, if you play with your kids and play in moderation, videogames can be a great way to bond, teach, and nurture your children.

This guest post is contributed by Lauren Bailey, who regularly writes for accredited online colleges.

Our tickets were for the 12:30pm show on a Sunday so we headed out from our home in Putnam County, NY around 9:30am.  The NYC Marathon was on the same day so we wanted to give ourselves enough time in case we ran into traffic.  Well, there was NO traffic at all, thank God.  It was a straight run and only took a little over an hour to get there.  The Big Apple Circus tent is only a few blocks in from the Henry Hudson parkway and there is a parking garage under Damrosch Park at Lincoln Center where the circus tent is.  The cost was $36.  I think that is for the whole day in case you wanted to make a day out of it.

We got there pretty early so we took a nice stroll around Lincoln Center and some of the side streets.  Here are some pictures of us:

This one is my fave.  Love the Lincoln Center Fountain.  I think this may be the photo I use for our Christmas cards this year.  What do you think?   I just wish our youngest was looking.  LOL

We were so happy to have my mom join us this year.  She grew up in NJ only a short distance from the city and has wanted to go to the Big Apple Circus all her life.  What a treat to share this experience with her.

So all in all, everything went very smoothly getting to the city, parking, walking around, and then grabbing our tickets.  The ticket area had the heat blarring since it was pretty cold outside and we were able to go in and grab some lunch before the show.  They have the usual circus food.  We got the $10 meals which included 1 hotdog, 1 large soda (coke, sprite, or diet coke), and a box of popcorn or cotton candy.  They have a nice seating area with tables so the kids were able to eat before we went into the show.  I think this is a must because it winds up being way to messy.  I will share more about that in a bit.  Here is a photo of us eating before the show:

After eating, the next trip was to the bathroom.  A new addition was the new portable potties.  They were so cool!  We had never seen anything like that before.   (wish I had taken a photo) They were like airplane bathrooms, but a little bigger with the sink any everything.  Very cool.  Funny how the kids get a kick of those things.  We made a couple trips there over the course of the afternoon.

This year’s show was called “Dream Big”.   I was told that this is the last year that Grandma the Clown will be performing.  (sniff sniff)  She is retiring after 25 years of service.  I was not really sure what to expect for this show – if it would be similar to the last show that we saw or what.  But when we first walked in to the Big Apple Circus tent the backdrop was totally different.  Here is a shot of it, but my camera really doesn’t give it justice.

If you read my previous post on our first Big Apple Circus experience, you will see that I wrote about the seating options and how the center sections are the best place to sit because that is where all the performers face when they come out and that is the direction they face when performing ( a lot of the time).  Well, we got the PERFECT seats.  Don’t get me wrong the other seats are totally fine, but it is a much better experience being right in the front.

The show was awesome.  It was totally different than the first one we saw.  There were different people, different acts, and even different animals.  I think that is so great because now I know that since the circus IS different each season then you can go back every year and have a totally different experience.  I would definitely make this a yearly event!

I took a couple photos in the tent, but there were a lot of people around us and I did not want to be rude by taking photos with them in the background.  And the kids were acting up a lot this time around so I was not as camera happy as I usually am.  But here are a few photos of us:

The show was a hit.  There were acrobats, trapezers, clowns, magic tricks, animals, lights, music, and so much more.  We all had our favorites.  My mom’s was the funny clown lady with the wild blonde hair.  The show lasted a total of 2 hours including a 15 minute intermission and the tent is heated for all of you worried about coming out in the winter months.

Some suggestions I have for those of you bringing small children are:

• Bring a stroller.  This really helps to maneuver around the city a little better.  They have a stroller check so that was where we kept all of our extra stuff including coats so that way we did not have to bring much to our seats.

• Don’t go overboard on the soda.  We had a little too much soda left so we decided to bring it into the tent with us.  We had 3 large cups as well as the boxes of popcorn and cotton candy.  I put the sodas on the floor by our feet and with the kids moving around so much and not a lot of legroom, we wound up spilling TWO of the sodas.   UGH.  I think having sippy cups of juice might’ve been a better option.   It is not a nice feeling having sticky soda under your feet.

• Schedule your trip AFTER naptime.  We did not have a choice as to the time we could go to the circus this time around.  They had a special showing just for bloggers and the only show was at 12:30pm.  That is naptime for our 2 youngest children (ages 2 & 3) so I was not sure of how it would be.  Our 2 year old slept for a bit in the car on the way to the city, but our 3 year old did not.  By around 1:30pm (around intermission time), we had a VERY cranky 3 yr old on our hands who did not want to stay in the show any longer.  I wound up having to take him out and walk around with him for a bit.  I tried to go back to the show and my husband held him on his lap for the remainder of the show, but he cried the entire time.  It was a bit frustrating.

Well that was our experience going to the “Dream Big” Show at the Big Apple Circus.  I definitely recommend this for families who are looking for something fun to do with your family.  There are a range of dates and ticket prices which you can check out.  You can also follow the Big Apple Circus on Facebook and Twitter.

Here is a final picture of me and my family outside of the circus tent after the show: