Inspirational / Spiritual

Taking the High Road in Spite of Dissapointment

July 22, 2009 by Painter Mommy 11 Comments

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I have been mulling over a situation that happened to me a few days ago concerning a job that I did for one of my graphic design clients. We spoke by phone about several projects and then they hired me to do a specific project. I completed the job and sent them the draft and they didn’t like the background image I chose. No biggie really, not everyone will have the same taste as me. So I mentioned that there were a bunch of awesome alternative options on a specific site, if they wanted to check it out and get back to me.

I never heard back from them, and after a few weeks I contacted them to ask if they had come up with anything and they said that they went with another graphic all together. I was cordial and said it looked great and that I would send out an invoice for the work I had done. I knocked off a chunk of money just to keep things fair, but still they responded not too kindly and in short – they refused to pay.

I was pretty floored by the whole deal. In all my years in business I have never had a client who acted so unprofessionally and actually refused to thank me for my time and not be willing to pay me for that time. I probably would’ve said forget about the payment if they had just explained themselves and expressed their appreciation for my work and apologize for deciding to go with another designer. I can’t please everyone, so that would’ve been fine with me.

A huge temptation for me today was to publicly confront this person on one of the networking sites we are both on and share how unprofessional and hurtful this was to me. I was almost ready to type it out and then I heard the words “Don’t do it” in my head. I am assuming it was God and my conscience. I have to be honest with you, I fought it for a minute of two. And then I heard the words “Take the high road”. And I immediately softened because I knew that this was God. Isn’t it like Him to always have us do the OPPOSITE!

As human beings we are drawn towards retaliation after someone hurts us. We are tempted to gossip and backbite and cause that person just as much pain right back. I know this situation isn’t too bad, but I did feel the need to defend myself and express my being “right” in this unfair situation. My human nature wants to say – “Hey! What the heck? You hired me to do the work right? You OWE me for my time!”.

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But instead, I am choosing to take the High Road and let it go without getting angry and upset. And if those feelings try to come up (which they will), I am going to pray for that person and thank God for the awesome clients that I do have. Tests are bound to come in all areas of our lives and I would rather pass the test now that have it come up again somewhere else.

I am a very open and trusting person. I never saw the need for contracts with my clients until this situation. So, I would love to hear your thoughts and advice on this. How do you do it? Do you have them confirm through email that they agree to pay you for your work? How can I do this in a professional manner?

And for those of you who can relate to this outside of business, maybe in a relationship or friendship, how did you handle it?

Contemplation on Life’s Uncertainty

July 19, 2009 by Painter Mommy 4 Comments

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It has been a solemn few days for me. When I returned from our vacation, I found out that one of our friends from church – their son died in a tragic accident. He was hit by a out of control car. He was only 21 years old. I always had a heart for this kid. He reminded me of me when I was his age – grew up in church, but was no longer interested and going his own way.

His mom is my children’s preschool teacher and I would often ask her about her son and how he was doing. She always spoke about him with a loving heart but also sad over the decisions he had been making. I used to remember the terrible things I did to my own parents during my time of rebellion and I would pray for this boy that he would someday come back.

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I was devastated to hear that he had passed away. I went to the wake and there were hundreds of people young and old grieving together. I stood in line to hug his parents and express my condolences. His mom cried on my shoulder and both her and her husband talked about how they knew I had prayed for him and how they so appreciated those prayers.

I have experienced quite a few deaths so far in my lifetime, recently being my grandma. But also friends from my past dieing of drug overdoses, car accidents, and such. But when a young person goes, I have to stop myself from questioning God and why He would allow these things to happen. It is an act of my will to say – “God, I don’t understand why certain things happen, horrible and unfair things, but I will not question you. I trust you and pray for comfort for those who are suffering loss.”

I then think about my own children and the possibility of them dieing. I hate to think this way, but what if it happened to me? Life is so uncertain. So many people in my life who I am aquainted with – friends, family, even internet connections – many have gone through terrible loss. Over the past few days a fear has immerged within me that I know comes from the devil himself. A fear of losing my husband or even my children. I have thought about it over and over again. And I am writing about it so that I can get it out and be free of it. I know that it isn’t healthy for me to do this.

There are a lot of verses in the Bible that talk about fear. So, I decided to do some research and came up with 2 really great scriptures that I am going to memorize and bring to mind whenever this tries to bring me down over the next few weeks.

Isaiah 41:10 “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

2 Timothy 1:7 “God has not given us the (evil) spirit of fear, but (Holy Spirit) power, (Father God’s) love, and a sound mind (renewed by Jesus, who speaks God’s word to us in the scripture).”

The title of this post is “Contemplation on Life’s Uncertainty”. As human beings, we can get stuck in fear of the uncertainty of life. We can waste time focusing our thoughts on the negative things that COULD happen in our lives and the lives of those close to us. But this type of thinking can hurt and destroy us. We need to change our thoughts and focus on the positive. Worry can grip us and for some it can be VERY hard to get out of. But worry is wrong. It is the opposite of trust. God wants us to put our trust in Him no matter what our circumstances. So, I encourage you to join me in this fight against negative thinking. Many of us carry unbearable emotional pain and the devil is using it to destroy us. Let’s step out in faith and become conquerers for the sake of Christ. His love with carry us through this.

I know that many of you (my readers) have faced death, maybe even the death of a child. I would love to hear from you and how you have overcome. Did you question God? Did you get angry at God? Please share.

CommentBlinkie

Before I was a MOM…

April 7, 2009 by Painter Mommy 3 Comments

Got this poem today in an email. Thought I would share it with all you moms out there! mom

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn’t want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn’t know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn’t know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom ….

May you always be overwhelmed by the Grace of God rather than by the cares of life

How to Overcome Worry

February 18, 2009 by Painter Mommy 7 Comments

I have struggled on and off in the past with WORRY. I think it is something that we all have had to face at one time or another.? I came across this cartoon and it really made me think about about how easy it is to get overwhelmed with our problems.

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According to Wikipedia, the definitition of Worry is – an emotion in which a person feels anxious or concerned about a real or imagined issue, ranging from personal issues such as health or finances to broader issues such as environmental pollution and social or technological change.

Here are a few negative affects of worry:

Damages both physical and mental health
Causes Bad Attitude
Depression
Anger
Disrupts Productivity
No Motivation
Pessimistic Spirit
Reduces ability to trust in God

One of my favorite portions of scripture in the Bible is Matthew 6:31-34 (this is the one in the cartoon above)

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.? If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?’ or `What shall we drink?’ or `What shall we wear?’? For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.? But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

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It is really our choice whether we worry or not.? It IS POSSIBLE to choose NOT to worry.? Someone used to say to me when I was worrying about situations in my life and their possible outcome – “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”? That is so true!?? What IS the worst thing that can happen?? I think about that and realize that my issues are really nothing in comparison to the many issues that people struggle with throughout the world.? There are so many people hurting and dieing and struggling.? Who am I?? Why should I waste time worrying when God SAYS that He cares for me even more than the birds?? He just asks that we seek Him first.

We need to stop looking at ourselves and turn our eyes outward towards the needs of others!

Here are a few ways that I overcome worry:

Get some ME time (away from the kids) go for a drive, chat on the phone with a friend, paint my toenails, watch a funny movie
Journal – write down exactly what I am feeling
Clean & Organize – This definitely isn’t for everyone.? LOL? But it helps me to calm down and be able to focus on getting past the issue
Let go through Prayer – Lay the burden at His feet, decide to trust and let it go
Be a Blessing – Look for ways to bless someone in your life – make a special dinner, send a friendship card, make a phone call and let the person know you love them

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What can YOU do?? What kind of impact can YOU have within your family, your workplace, your community – if you get out there and dedicate time to ministering to the needs of others?? I challenge you to get out of that pit of worry and despair.? Even if your situation seems hopeless – THERE IS HOPE!? God cares for you and He wants you to seek HIM first.

Thanks so much for allowing me to share.? It is always healing for me to express what I am going through and hopefully help someone else at the same time.

Do YOU worry?? Have you struggled with worry in the past?? Please comment about what you have done to overcome it.

God bless You!

Frustrations Leave Me Thankful

January 28, 2009 by Painter Mommy 10 Comments

I am not usually one to complain, I often get bothered when other people complain (overly complain – not just the usual venting) but for the past few months I have had many days where I have felt like pulling my hair out.

I should probably have a name for this type of post right? How about “Wallowing Wednesday”? LOL? If anyone has a better one, let me know!

How about a list of some of the things that have just about thrown me over the edge?? I am sure many of you can relate.

– Kids writing on walls

– Breaking random things around the house

– Constant requests for food, snacks, & drinks by children

– Banging my toe or other random parts of my body into walls & corners

– Spilling something (why does this ALWAYS happen to me?)

– Never ending phone calls

– Having to wipe hineys several times a day -ugh!

– Hundreds of emails to go through

– NEVER ENDING SICKNESS!!!

For the past few months (since around September to be exact) I have picked up every sickness under the sun – bronchitis, severe cold, upper respiratory infection, stomach virus, and now the flu.? I am actually laughing right now because it is just unbelievable how much I have been stuck at home being sick.? Oh, and when I am not sick – one of the kids are, so I feel like our home has been a nonstop infirmary!

One thing that bothers me about my little ones being in school is how much germs they are exposed to and then they? bring home.? Every other week one of them has the sniffles, cough, throwing up, SOMETHING.? I WISH I had the patience to keep them home and homeschool them, but to be honest with you – I am desperate for the alone time so I can get my work done.? Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, but being with them 24/7 and trying to run 2 businesses can just about make a mama fall apart into a million tiny little peices.

My 2 oldest only go 3 days a week, so I don’t feel TOO bad about it.? They really love it too.? They have the chance to interact with other kids and learn lots of great new stuff.? That is important to me.

photo credit: joiseyshowaa

Anyway, today we had a snow day.? The kids were SUPPOSED to be in school, but instead were home causing havoc in the house. (lovely for me, LOL)? I really wasn’t feeling 100% after being in bed for 2 days with the flu.? So, I just let them go crazy and tried to take care of the dishes, laundry that was backed up, and get some of my VA work done.? I had gotten through just a couple emails when all of a sudden the POWER WENT OUT!? Thank God it was daytime!? But still, I got frustrated.? I really needed to catch up with work.? I really needed to take a shower (no hot water), We needed heat for heaven’s sake!!

I tried my best to be calm with the kids.? We all hung out and sang songs and made up silly stories.? They were thrilled that the power was out because it meant that they got my attention.? The power was only out for a few hours and we all went crazy when the lights came back on.? It was fun, now that I look back on it. 🙂

I was able to squeeze in a quick shower today too (even though the second I got in and wet my hair the baby started screaming).? LOL? But all in all, looking back – it wasn’t too bad.? We have power, we have heat, and I got a lot of work done after hubby got home from work.

But man, when you are in the MIDST of the hair pulling moments – it sure is TOUGH to let it all roll off your back and stay calm.? Thank God He is there always reminding me to keep my eyes on Him.? It is so nice to know that even when I fail, lose my patience, and just plain fall apart – He is there to lift me back up.

Even now, I look back at the tense hours with no power, and the teeth clenching over the fact that I couldn’t get my internet working for hours after that, and even when I accidentally cut my 3 month olds nail too short and made him bleed – I am still here…. and able to say Thank you God for this day that you have made.? It may have been a rough one, but I would rather have THIS day WITH you than WITHOUT you.

So be blessed today, no matter what you may face – remember there is a God that loves you no matter what your circumstances are, no matter how many times you may fail (too many times for me – LOL), and no matter if you acknowledge the fact that there is a God – He STILL loves you more than words can express.

Thanks for listening friends!? I am off to bed now, in dire need of a good replenishing rest.

Talk soon,