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Painter Mommy

Fun stuff in the Everyday Life of a Busy Mom & Entrepreneur

Secrets

February 1, 2011 by Painter Mommy 6 Comments

There will always be something in life that will try to tear you down or bring you down.  I have never been one to complain about stuff.  I feel like it is a waste of time and I think it brings others down at the same time when they have their own problems to deal with.  But there are times where you do just need to vent and get out some of the emotions that come along with the frustrations and dilemmas of life.

Stuffing it and hiding it away can cause long term damage, so it is important to allow yourself to be able to be open and honest with yourself and possibly with someone close to you like your spouse or a good friend.  But then there are struggles that some of us face that we really cannot share with anyone – things that maybe noone else would or could ever understand.  Or if we did share it we may risk hurting someone.

Years ago, I would be quick to tell my secrets.  I would have to get things off my chest.  But I was not careful in WHO I talked to.  And of course I had been hurt and betrayed numerous times by people who were close to me at the time.  I learned the hard way that I really need to have discernment in what comes out my mouth.

About a year ago, I had a good friend tell me a secret, something that shocked me about something that she had done.  I so badly wanted to say something about it (at least to my husband).  It was so difficult to let it go and use that energy to actually do some good and pray for her.  Over time, I began to see how it really brought a lot of healing for my friend to share with me what she did.  Getting it off her chest brought her a sense of freedom.

I know many people who are quick to TALK, but I am really one who is good at LISTENING.  I think talking too much can lead to complaining and I just really can’t stand complaining.  I have been there.  I have done it.  I know it doesn’t lead anywhere.  And if we keep on doing it, it seems that God continues to allow circumstances that will tempt us to complain even more.  We really have to conquer it and just face life as it comes.

My mom is a big example.  She has had a year from hell with all the unbelievable things she has had to face.  Being so close to her, I have suffered right along with her.  We have both been tempted to question God and ask why.  There have been times where we have complained and gotten discouraged.  But in spite of so many odds, my mom has not given up.  She has kept going and allowed God to make her a stronger person.

I am reminding myself of this today as I am faced with some different challenges.  I don’t want to stuff it inside and pretend like everything is fine, which I am pretty good at.  But I am hurting.  I don’t necessarily have secrets, but there are things that I am facing that I would like to keep between me and God or me and those who are closest to me.

I am in a place where I am not sure where to go, what to do, or how to move forward.  I have no idea how I would handle this if I didn’t have God in my life.  I may have given up a long time ago.  It would be pointless for me to go blabbing my mouth about my problems to everyone around me when there are so many others struggling a million times worse than me.  That does not mean my problems mean nothing and I should not face them, but it is important to find an outlet – a way of expressing your emotions in a healthy and positive way.

I always come back to the fact that I am so grateful that in spite of life’s twists and turns – we are never alone – God is there.  He has each and every one of us in the palm of His Might Hand.  He knows the answers.  He knows WHY certain things happen and WHY certain things don’t happen.  He has a plan.  He holds the key to our future.  No matter what we go through (and it sure seems like people are being hit hard lately), God is there.  And my measly little problems are nothing in comparison to His everlasting Love in my life.  And best of all, our secrets are safe with Him!  I love that.  🙂

Why is Keeping Commitments So Hard?

January 16, 2011 by Painter Mommy 4 Comments

In honor of this new year, and resolutions and all that good stuff, I want to share about the importance of keeping commitments. It seems like it is one of the things that can be super difficult for us, no matter what the commitment is.

I know God is very serious about letting your “Yes” be “Yes” and your “No” be “No”.  I have always been very nervous about giving my word and making sure that my Word stays true.  I want to be a women of my word.  I really do!

Right now, in our church we are doing a corporate fast for 21 days.  Everyone choose one thing to fast many do 1 meal per day, and others fast sweets or TV.  I did not take part in it the year before, so I decided to try to do it this year.  I cannot fast food because of a medication I am not, so I decided that I would fast TV in the evenings for 30 minutes to an hour and during that time spend time with God and in prayer. I did not fully commit to this, but I told God I would really try my best.  My intentions were good.

Well, I did great for about a week and then my husband went out of town and I was on my own with the kids for a whole week.  By the end of the day, I was totally exhausted and by the time I put the kids to bed, all I could do was fall into my own bed and watch a little TV before I went to sleep myself.

So, there it is….. lack of commitment.  Yes, I feel pretty bad about it.  I really wanted to fast and be in unity with my church, but I failed. 🙁  No wonder I was afraid to actually COMMIT to God on the whole “fasting” thing.   But the thing is, He knows and I am sure He still loves me.  Thank God He is super patient with us.

Then I thought about how hard it is to keep a commitment in this day and age OUTSIDE of the already crazy busy schedules we have on a daily basis.  Then add multiple children into the mix and fulltime jobs and meals and….. on and on!  LOL  There will always be something that comes up to try and break our commitments.  Yes, God is patient, but that does not give us the right to be the type of people whose word cannot be trusted.

I run a Mom’s group at my church and we meet once a month on Saturday.  We have quite a bit of moms of small children who attend our church but we usually have only a handful of ladies who show up to our meeting.  It gets discouraging sometimes because my partner and I pour our hearts into being there and preparing lessons, etc.  We often have people SAY they are coming and then they don’t come.  It is frustrating sometimes.  But who am I to judge?  Who says I would not do the same?

In sharing on this subject, I decide to do a little of my usual research and I found a few good articles.  One from EzineArticles.com talked about ways to KEEP commitments that you make.  Here are a few:

  • Be Careful What You Agree To: Many people find it easier to say yes instead of no. It is far better to agree to what you can do, than saying yes to please someone at the moment and later fail your commitment because of being over-committed or because you have difficulty saying no.
  • Manage Your Commitments: Keep a log of your commitments – Write them down. You may have great intentions, but if you forget to do what you agreed to do, the result is the same as your ‘Choosing’ not to keep your commitment.
  • Renegotiate When You Are Unable to Keep Your Commitment: When you discover you are unable or unwilling to complete an agreement, go to the other party/parties and renegotiate – explain why, etc.  Connect – Don’t ignore.
  • Manage By Agreement: Instead of TELLING someone to do something, ASK if they would agree to doing it. You have a greater chance it will get done if you ask rather than tell

Those are some good ideas.  Sharing this has really put things into perspective for me.  And again, as in any other thing that we may struggle with – BALANCE is key.

One of the things that God has been speaking to my heart about is being Committed to my family.  As many of you know, I am a work at home mom.  I run a Graphic Design business called DPK Graphic Design.  I have an enormous amount of work coming in and it has been really hard for me to stay in balance.  My work time is limited because of the kids and I really only have a few hours each day (usually during naptime).  I squeeze time in between, but there are so many distractions and I wind up getting upset more often than not.  I really don’t want to live that way (being frustrated all the time).

I enjoy what I do very much, but it can be tedious.  I am totally committed to my work and my clients, but it can cause a battle between the time with my family.  For a long time I have felt that God has been wanting me to create a work schedule that would help alleviate the stress that I get under and at the same time give more back to my family.

When my 2 older ones get home from school, I do get off the computer and prepare dinner and do homework, but I am always sneaking a few minutes here and there to check email or finalize a graphic, etc.  So my time is divided and I know it has an affect on my kids and my husband.

I have 2 options and I am just not sure which to choose just yet.  I can either take one or 2 evenings totally off from my work and spend it with my family.  I mean computer is totally shut down for those evenings.  Or I can make sure that I don’t work for a couple hours every evening and then work later on once the kids are settled (dinner finished, kitchen cleaned, homework done, etc).

I don’t know why I am so afraid to commit to this.  I guess I feel like I will fail and then beat myself up.  But in my heart, I feel like God is urging me to make some decisions and I also have peace that He will work out the rest.

What are your thoughts on this?  Are any of you WAHM’s?  What type of schedule do you keep?  How do you keep balance between work and family?  What kind of schedule are you keeping?  Are you able to stay committed to it?  What do you think about this whole “trouble with commitment thing”?   I always love hearing from my readers!

God bless you guys!  And remember… KEEPING COMMITMENTS ARE IMPORTANT!

And finally, here are a couple funny cartoons I found about New Year’s resolutions.  Cute…

Our New Home

May 16, 2010 by Painter Mommy 19 Comments

Well, I am sure many of you have been wondering where I have been for these past couple months.  I still can’t believe that it has been so long since I have blogged.  I have so much to update you on!

In my last post, I mentioned about our apartment flooding AGAIN and the fact that we were homeless and looking for a new place to live.  To read the actual post – click here.  What a difficult time that was.  There were days where I really thought I was not going to make it.  But thank God for His strength that got us through it.

We wound up staying with the wonderful family from church, who took us in, for almost 2 months.  My husband had to continue working, so the pressure wound up being all on me to search for a new place to live.  I spent hours looking in our local papers, searching online, dealing with realtors, making calls, and traveling to look at countless different places.  I really got sick of it in the end.  I would come home crying because the places that I looked at in our price range – were disgusting.  I saw one place that was covered in black mold – outside and inside.  I literally stuck my finger in the mold in one house, right in front of the landlord and let them know that this wasn’t good.  I really have no clue how anyone could live like that.

In another house, the walls were covered with DARK paneling.  It was like a dungeon in there.  There was yet another house that had bedrooms that were only big enough to fit a twin size bed and NOTHING else.  Oh and how about the one that had absolutely no yard – definitely wouldn’t fly with my 4 children.  There were tons more, but I really don’t even want to think about it now.

In the end, I wound up compiling a general email telling about our recent flood, about our family, and what our budget was for a home.  Whenever anyone posted anything of interest on Craigslist, I would attach the email and just wait for a response.   Many didn’t respond, and those who did just said that they really could’nt bring their prices down.  But I didn’t give up and one day a landlord responded and we set up a day to meet.  It was on a Saturday, so my husband was home that day and we all went to look at the place.  We walked in and honestly  just felt a peace.  It was a totally different layout than what we were used to.  We always lived on one floor – no stairs.  But this place had 2 main floors and in addition also had a full basement and an attic.  It would be perfect for us and a welcoming change.

Everything came together and we moved in shortly after.  We are so blessed and so grateful.  I really believe that all of this happened for a reason.  We probably would’ve never moved out of our old place if it hadn’t flooded so much.  But God had a better place that He knew we needed to be.  Yes, it was difficult going through all of that.  My husband and I went through the whole gamut of emotions.  It was not easy waiting and searching and waiting and searching.

Cliff had to continue working during that whole time so really the pressure and stress was all on me to find us a home.  I spent hours looking through the papers, making calls, talking with real estate agents, and emailing people.  It was crazy.  And man, some of the places I went to see that were supposedly within our price range were just horrible.  I would come home crying and feeling hopeless.

During that time, I was listening to a Joyce Meyer teaching on CD called “Satan’s Interruptions” or something to that effect.  And Joyce said this profound statement that really touched me.  She said “God is the God of MORE than enough”.  Wow, it hit me like a ton of bricks and from then on I started praying with faith and confidence – claiming that God had something even better out there for us than what we could imagine.  And guess what?  He did! And during that time, I not only learned about patience and flexibility – I also learned how to TRULY let go and depend on God.

And look what He gave us – a wonderful new home that is much better suited for us than what we were living in before.  God is so faithful!

So check out our new home!

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The Importance of Admitting When We are Wrong to our Kids

November 13, 2009 by Painter Mommy 7 Comments

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As parents, we often make mistakes. Instead of ignoring it in front of our children, it is best to take responsibility for our actions. Our children, no matter how young or old are very observant.  Instead of ignoring it in front of our children, it is best to take responsibility for our actions. So, admitting our wrong and asking forgiveness will actually teach our children a valuable lesson.

Take a look at how I was able to use a situation where I was wrong and teach my children the proper way to admit to mistakes and ask forgiveness.

As you can see, this was a very personal video, but it really did feel good to share about my experience.  I would love to hear your thoughts!  Please leave me a comment!

Letting Go of the Heavy Burdens of Life

November 4, 2009 by Painter Mommy 5 Comments

burden_closeupLife sure does know how to throw us curve balls.  Every single day it seems that we have to face something new – another test comes, another temptation, another trial.  And all of these things just add to the heavy burden already on our back.  Many of us are like this woman in the picture, struggling through life pretending that we are ok, but still carrying a huge unbearable load.  Yes, we can handle it for a time, but eventually something else will come our way that may actually break us or even cripple us completely.

I was reading this morning in my devotional book called “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers and it was talking about taking action against the things that we face.  So many times we just continue on in our hurt, pain, discouragement, and struggles without doing much about it.  We think that if we ignore them long enough, maybe they will go away.  But this is not the case at all.

In James 4:8, it says “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you”.  This means that we are supposed to do something and that God will then do something in return.  Yes, there are times where we just don’t have one ounce of strength and God does meet us in those lonely places.  But more often than not, God wants us to step out and DO SOMETHING about what we are going through.

Another awesome scripture is in Matthew 11:28 which says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest”.  Wow!  isn’t that awesome?  When we are weak, tired, and burdened – God’s peace and rest is available to us!  But how can that be?  Well, it is pretty simple actually, God says “Come to me…”  This is another call to action, but yet it is so simple.  Coming to God does not mean that we have to get our lives together first or be regular attendee of churchs.  That is not what it is all about at all.

God wants us to come to Him just the way we are – broken people – hurting people… and He promises to give us rest.  And that rest does not necessarily mean physical rest.  But I think it means all of the above including emotional, spiritual, and physical rest.

It gives me so much comfort to know that when I am feeling burdened by the uncontrollable circumstances of life that I do not have to face it alone.  So, if you are facing something that seems impossible, something that is putting more weight on you than you can handle… then just know that there is a God who loves you more than you know.  He is calling you to take action and get rid of that heavy burden once and for all.  He did it for me and I know that He can do it for you too. 🙂

Please feel free to leave me a comment or email me if you are struggling.  I am here for you and I would love to pray for you.  God bless you,  DAWN

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